Home > How To: Finding Your Happy

How To: Finding Your Happy

Going through a rough patch? Been there, done that. Here are some helpful tips to get you out of that funk, to keep you from languishing, put social media into perspective and motivated to “find your happy”.

Dominique Baker calm and relaxed

2021 has proven to be 2020 with a wig on. For the first month of 2021, I just wanted to crawl into a whole and forget everything. Burned out, missing my friends and essentially taking grenades in the trenches left me feeling completely depressed (that last point – let’s just say I showed some poor judgement with an ill-advised collaboration).

After a particularly sad time, my husband stepped in because he was worried about my sinking mental health. We had a long talk, and he encouraged me to start seeing my therapist more regularly. That right there is a tip I’ll be going into more depth below.

I also sought help from my doctor who prescribed some medication that helped greatly. There is NO SHAME in taking medication to help with depression and anxiety. I REPEAT – THERE IS NO SHAME WITH THAT.

Ok – enough about me. Let’s start making you happy…

Block & Delete Online Haters

January was a month where the trolls were out on Instagram in full force. I chalk it up to people being upset about the pandemic and not really handling it well.

Great words to live by for dealing with this sort of negativity is:

“Everyone is doing their best. You don’t know what others are going through, so be kind and understanding.”

Reese the Bernedoodle Dog

DO NOT engage with trolls. Every now and then, one will get my goat and I have to put my phone down and take a deep breath.

Report nasty comments, delete and block that user. And if anyone threatens you or worse, call the authorities immediately.

Unfollow Accounts That Don’t Serve You

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter…you name it, become much more fun when you have the courage to unfollow all of those accounts you do not like.

Social media can be great. You can make it whatever you want it to be. This is why it’s so important to be discriminating with who you follow. Being annoyed daily by a mother’s graphic accounts of what’s in her child’s diaper, some instagrammer’s crummy ad after ad that doesn’t apply to you, terrible content, whatever it may be, makes it less fun.

If someone gets upset and reaches out for an explanation, take the time to explain that it’s nothing personal. You can invite them to unfollow you as well and if you care enough to, explain that you unfollowed because you have no interest in “xyz”.

We should all strive to not let our social media experiences ruin our day.

Dominique Baker smiling in a Roots sweatshirt

Do Not Take Advice From Someone You Wouldn’t Trade Places With

Humans are hardwired to talk out their feelings, opinions with friends, family and acquaintances. This helps us figure things out and validate our decisions.

Sadly, there are those who tend to give terrible advice because they may simply not know better or are malicious.

When someone is giving advice that sounds suspicious, consider the source. And if you are doing well in whatever it is your doing, and someone who isn’t at the same level gives you crummy advice, trust your gut. Say thank you and take it with a grain of salt.

I cannot stress this enough: TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT ALWAYS.

Take A Social Media Break

In January, a social media break saved my sanity. I was clocking 7-10 hours on Instagram daily. That shames me deeply. The things I was missing out on makes me teary-eyed. Even sweet little Reese would stare at me longingly as I scrolled forever on my phone.

Dominique Baker with her bernedoodle, Reese

My mood correlated directly to the amount of time I spent online. Tired of feeling “less than”, I tucked my phone away for almost four straight weeks. I replaced screen time with reading a mound of books, doing puzzles (HOLY FUN and satisfying), taking long walks, doing morning yoga and walking the dog.

It’s funny how we take for granted life’s little joys. Enjoying great conversation with your significant other over morning coffee without knowing what @SoAndSo’s #ootd is GREAT. Also, getting wrapped up in what horrible things are happening around the world on the news first thing each day kinda sucks…speaking of which…

Dominique Baker cradling a book

Take A Break From The News

This was single-handedly the best thing I ever did. It’s been four straight months without reading the latest headlines, and you know what? I FEEL GREAT.

For the past year, the media has been nothing but “feel bad stories” with a dash of fear-mongering. Reading my favourite news outlets and being on constant high alert left me feeling scared, hopeless, anxious – the whole nine yards.

Dominique Baker holding a hat on Seven Mile Beach

Taking this break was a breath of fresh air that brought focus, calm to life and PERSPECTIVE. It allows for you to stay emotionally regulated and get back in tune with things that directly focus your life in your immediate surroundings.

You don’t have have to cut it out forever, but a break does help.

Remember – social media is supposed to be fun. Likes and followers do not define you as a person, nor should it ruin your life. Those using it to hurt others have been hurt themselves.

Taking the time to find your happy makes life the best! You deserve love and comfort, so listen to your heart and mind and give yourself a chance to thrive.

There is a big, beautiful world out there to enjoy through the lens of your own eyes and not your iPhone. xo

Dominique Baker
Dominique Baker

Dominique is a Canadian-based fashion and beauty influencer with a strong voice in Ottawa’s black community. Since launching her blog Style Domination in 2015, she has amassed a global fanbase. Dominique shares her life through beautiful imagery and compelling story-telling that speaks to her fans on a personal level. She’s been featured in The Guardian, Flare, The Kit and Cityline. She also hosts events for Dress for Success, the Gem Conference, and has been named a United Way Person 2 Know for the past three years.

Find me on: Web | Instagram


  1. Erika
    May 3, 2021 / 4:54 pm

    Great tips! Glad that you reached down deep and wrote this!

    • Dominique
      May 3, 2021 / 5:22 pm

      Thank you so much, Erika. You are instrumental in helping me “find my happy”. I’ll miss our walks!!

  2. May 3, 2021 / 6:01 pm

    Love these tips Dom! And you are brave sharing this. Your heart is at the right place and I am happy to see you back in your full authentic self. Keep shining

    • Dominique
      May 3, 2021 / 8:03 pm

      Thank you so much, Sharifa. I sat on this for a while as influencers we both know treated terribly over the past few months. Writing this though goes towards my healing though. I feel immensely better.

  3. Islande
    May 3, 2021 / 8:42 pm

    Great post. I’m happy you’re in a better space.

    Thanks for sharing

    • Dominique
      May 3, 2021 / 8:51 pm

      Thank you, Islande. Means a lot that you stopped by!

  4. Kimberly Thomas
    May 13, 2021 / 2:58 pm

    I’m glad you’re back!! Keep up the good work. I’m not sure if u can edit this but the 2nd paragraph should say “hole” not “whole”.

    • Dominique
      May 14, 2021 / 12:55 am

      Thanks. And thanks for pointing out that spelling error.

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