During my last trip to Toronto, I met up with Olivier Epaud, a fantastic photographer who is humble to the core. He is the “man with a plan”…quickly taking me to a favourite building façade that he wanted to shoot. As he got set up, I looked down at my outfit and started to second guess myself. “Was it too boring?”, “Did I look ‘effortlessly fashion blogger-y’ enough?” Sigh.
I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my head and relished the moment. It was sunny, I was in the middle of fun, bustling Toronto and had another great afternoon ahead of me before heading back to Awatto.
WHAT I’M WEARING
Cardigan – Aritzia | Tank (similar) – Free People | Jeans – Levi’s | Shoes (similar) – L’Intervalle | Backpack – Coach | Sunnies – Chloé
In that moment as I fidgeted with my sweater, I made a mental note to not be so hard on myself – that on the grand scheme of things, life is excellent. Truly! I have my family and good health, and a little puppy who loves me. That’s goals right there and I was really grateful in that moment.
Right then and there, I made a mental note to share some tips with you on how to block the outside noise and get comfortable in your own skin.
Do Things That Make You Happy
Feeling a bit down in the dumps? Make a list of things you love to do and get out and do them. I live for long, mind-clearing walks. Biking around the city is another thing I love to do. Gardening and shopping (within reason) are close to my heart too. Get back in touch with yourself and indulge in some activities that feed your soul.
Love Those “Flaws”
So, you hate your freckles. Newsflash! They are cute as hell. Your deep, dark skin is goals, And my dear ginger-haired friends, your hair colour is the best hair colour. Embrace things that make you YOU.
Weird Personalities = Refreshing
I recently befriended someone who is a bit of an oddball. She has the strangest collection of life experiences. Her laugh is deafening and contagious, and she likes to pick you up when she hugs you EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. She’s a breath of fresh air!
With fashion blogging, I meet a lot of people who are serious about their fashion and take many pains to appear somewhat perfect. My new friend’s dark sense of humour, penchant for wearing stuffed birds in her hair and deep belly laugh reminds me that the world would be a pretty boring place if we were all cookie cutter perfect.
Take Care Of Your Body
A little self-care in the form of regular exercise and some pampering goes a long way to boost your self-confidence. You only have one body so you might as well treat it like a shiny, new BMW i8 Coupe. #dreamcar
Do Not, I Repeat, DO NOT Seek Validation From Others
When I started doing things for me that felt right for me, I felt better all around. When I discovered – especially with blogging – my own personal writing and photography style, ideas flowed more freely and my following grew. I no longer needed validation from others that what I was doing was “cool enough” because what I was doing felt natural. That right there built my own self-confidence further.
A Little Self-Awareness Goes A Long Way
Lastly, be self-aware. You have to be able to see the good, the bad and the ugly in yourself to live your best life. Being aware of your own flaws grows your self-worth and integrity. You realize that you aren’t perfect and are more open to realizing that others aren’t either. Same goes for the need to be a pillar of strength 24/7. That gets hard fast. Letting your guard down and showing that human side is lovely.
*Photography courtesy of Olivier Epaud.
Dominique is a Canadian-based fashion and beauty influencer with a strong voice in Ottawa’s black community. Since launching her blog Style Domination in 2015, she has amassed a global fanbase. Dominique shares her life through beautiful imagery and compelling story-telling that speaks to her fans on a personal level. She’s been featured in The Guardian, Flare, The Kit and Cityline. She also hosts events for Dress for Success, the Gem Conference, and has been named a United Way Person 2 Know for the past three years.
I’m not gonna lie, I love freckles. They are so adorable. And I think this outfit is very effortlessly chic. Adore the cardigan.
Hello Dominique. Thank you for posting this article. I share your love of long walks and shopping and find that both activities are great opportunities to connect with your authentic self. Even though I’m not a fan of the quality of clothing sold at Target, I recently did a spring feminine try on haul and it instantly boosted my confidence as well as being so much fun! BTW your outfit is the epitome of causal blogger chic!
Author
Nyeema, you are too kind! I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to read this post! I’m glad you found it a little helpful and indulged yourself a little with some new threads. And listen, the clothes I’ve purchased from Target? If you care them, they last forever. Ain’t no shame in Target’s game! LOL! Thanks for your kind words too about my “blogger chic”!
Hello Dominique. Thank you for posting this article. I share your love of walks and shopping and find both to be a great opportunity to reconnect with myself. Even though I’m not a fan of the quality of clothing at Target, I recently did a feminine spring try on haul for fun and instantly felt more confident! I agree that looking like every other blogger is overrated! I chose to follow you because you are cofident, professional, elegant, sophisticated, naturally beautiful, as well as stylish! I’m an African American professional female in her 40s and unfortunately I don’t follow many fellow AA bloggers because I can’t relate to them but I consider you a role model!
I wholeheartedly AGREE!! We’ve got one life to life, we need to live it to the fullest, without comparing ourselves to others! And some deep belly laughs along the way, especially at ourselves, only makes it even more enjoyable and worth living!!! Great post!!
Author
Awww Nickie! Thank you so much! Thanks for visiting my blog too!!! Means a lot!
Hello Dominique!!!
Thank you for the post, really encouraging. I have struggled with insecurities and seeing your post would definitely encourage someone out there as well, because these kind of sweet words are soothing to the soul. Thank you dear! ❤
Author
Hi Diana! I’m so glad you enjoyed the article and found it helpful! Talking with someone who cares is definitely food for the soul!